Archive for December, 2007
You are currently browsing the West of Somewhere blog archives for December, 2007.
25
Dec
2007
We Are Family
So sometimes I really love my family. Like today. I went to the Yuki family Christmas. It was great. I got to see all of my cousins. I have so much fun with them. I love them a lot, I really do. And I ate a TON. Seriously, I ate so much.
I got up at 6:45 to open gifts. And no, this was not my idea. My mom tried to get me up at 6, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen.
YAY! I love what I got. My parents gave me lots of clothes (that I had gone shopping for) And my other family members gave me money and gift cards. (Which is what I asked for) My parents also got me this sick ass Star Wars pop-up book. It is way cooler than that sounds. Oh, they also got me this illustrated lyrics book that pretty much has ever Beatles song in it.
Christmas was wonderful this year and I think my mom had a good birthday. Today was great.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!
24
Dec
2007
The Reasons For Your Tears Aren’t Worth Crying
take what’s left
i’ll still give you all of me
i’m still trying to breathe
struggle struggle breath
when i relapse
take what you will
hear my pleading, please
tell me you love me
tell me you did
now is not in question
the past is always more important than the present
let’s act like you never hurt me at all
let’s pretend that you gave me a part of you,
something for me to hold onto
let’s say that you don’t already have all of me
let’s say there is something left to take
you took what you wanted
my cuts run deep
the wounds are still bleeding
you gave one thing, a broken me
why didn’t you say you never wanted anything?
This is pretty old. I found it on my computer and just felt like posting it. I’m happy to say I think writing poems like this is in my past.
23
Dec
2007
Love Love Love
So Christmas is here! Well almost. It’s starting to feel like it. A few days ago it didn’t feel like Christmas time at all. I was still in school and stressing over my finals. My last was on December 21. That’s not a lot of time before Christmas so it kind of got in the way of my “Christmas attitude” But I guess it’s here now.
I didn’t get a lot of people gifts. Mostly because I’m lazy. I only bought for 4 friends and 3 family members. I can always say that was because I don’t have a job, meaning there was a lack of money. And that is true, but not the main reason.
Oh, I didn’t fail any of my finals! I’m so happy.
And I’m most likely going to Disneyland next week. All this is putting me in a very good mood.
14
Dec
2007
I Feel So Teen
So tonight I took pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror. Don’t ask. I’m just in a weird mood and I have a REALLY bad headache. I think I’m gonna go to bed now… yeah.
9
Dec
2007
Jonas
My new nephew Jonas was born on Thursday. :] He’s sooo cute. I love the kid so much already. He’s my brother’s son. Doug is a great dad. *Sigh* I love my family.
9
Dec
2007
Best Friends Part II
Becca is the shit. This is why she is my best friend. The end. No, there is so much more to say about her. I met this wonderful girl when we were in the 5th grade. I met her, but I didn’t really know her. That didn’t happen until we went to middle school. It’s kinda sad, and it makes me feel bad when I talk about how we became friends. I had this other friend. Her name was Brandy. She was my best friend at the time. But I grew up and matured… and she just wasn’t there yet. Becca was. So I grabbed on and didn’t let go. I get this feeling that she liked me too.
I’ve been close with her ever since. Even though she moved schools in the 7th grade. Even though I moved to Lodi. Even though she moved to Texas. Even though I haven’t seen her in one year and eleven months. I still love her. And she is still my best friend.
When I think of Becca, I think of camping. LOL, well I think of a lot of other things too. But camping is always fun to talk about.
God, I just love this girl. She is so fucking cool.
And I get to see her. Soon. Plus I’m going to visit her ass over the summer. It’s gonna be awesome. Just like her.
3
Dec
2007
With Downcast Eyes
I broke the other day. I couldn’t take it anymore. Love hurts so much. I don’t even know why I love that person anymore. I know why I did before. But those reasons are no longer apply to the fucking person. I wish that my feelings could have gone away with them. Friendship hurts. Loving your friends hurts. It hurts when people throw you away. It really hurts when they said they wouldn’t. It hurts when you had talked about future plans that they no longer want any part of. And it hurts when you can’t let go. When you still love them, that’s what hurts the most.
Like I said, I broke the other day. I’ve been talking about this for months. But really, it’s time to get on with my life. I sat there, and I just thought, “Fuck this. I’m not dealing with it anymore.” And I’m not. There is no more hope. There hasn’t been for a long time. But I’m not going to even pretend anymore. The friendship is dead.
Goodbye.