West of Somewhere

From Yesterday

So, yesterday was pretty much the most stressful day ever. It started with me waking up at 3 in the morning fucking stressed. First period my teacher told me I looked like I needed a nap and that I was in serious danger of failing math. Joy.

2nd period I went to pick out my classes for next year. I was told that I had to take summer school for math or take it next year again. But I passed the class last semester. Ugh. And because I couldn’t be singed up for my math class, I couldn’t take the science I wanted. So I ended up with 3 electives for next year. NOT GOING TO GET ME INTO COLLEGE! So I had to stay in there and sort my shit out. Ugh. It’s fine now, but it was seriously stressing me out yesterday.

My French chapter final was WAY harder than I though it would be. And that stressed me out too.

And I got a test back 6th period with a big fat 50% on it.

Then when I got home my mom gave me a big talk about how I was being such a bitch lately. And that I needed to be home more. And give her more respect.

My night ended with me crying in the mall parking lot to my dad. I told him about how stressed I was. He ended up buying me three Harry Potter shirts and a mini poster. I love my dad.

Later Amanda and Kayla came by for a few minutes. That was cool.

But yesterday as a whole sucked serious ass. But it’s made me realize that I really need to get my shit together. So, I’ll be doing that over the next few weeks. *Sigh*

Stressed.

How To Unfold Your Love

My very dear friend, Tommy, wrote a blog about love. So this is somewhat of a reply to that. Love. There are many kinds. Friendship, family, and relationships. I’ve had good luck with love from my family. I know that they all love me very much, just as I love them. For the most part, my friends have been solid as well. There were, of course, the cheap friendships that ended in fights and harsh words. Or those that just drifted apart. Sometimes I think that friendship is the most powerful kind of love. The true friendships seem to be more stable than most romantic relationships. And sometimes your family can be distant. Just because you love each other doesn’t mean you have to understand each other. And you get to pick your friends. You pick people that fit you.

In a way, I guess that also applies to romantic relationship, but with those, you fall for the person. You don’t really get to to pick who they are. I know this for sure. I have been in love. Real love. Once. And it was definitely not with someone I would have just picked. No way in hell. But we don’t have a choice. We are who we are and we love who we love.

Now that I’m on the topic of romantic love, let’s talk about it shall we? Being in love is the best feeling in the world, or the worst. I feel that when you love someone, they have broken down all your walls. They leave you naked, with nothing to protect you. And if they love you back, you will build your walls back together, around both of you. But you will be with them on the inside, venerable to each other, but protected from the rest of the world. That is what love should be like. But many times it’s not. Most people fall in love alone. This causes unbearable pain. They hurt you in the worst way possible, by not loving you back. But you love them, and you are still stripped when it comes to them. They can hurt you, worse than anyone else can.

This doesn’t seem fair does it? It’s because it’s not. Love is not fair. Life is not fair. And there is no point to life without love. Love is a cycle of pain, with the silver lining that you may find happiness with someone some day. So for now, I’m sitll looking.

Do It Again

So, pretty much everyday I come to my blog and think that I want to write one. But I never do. This makes me sad. I have plenty to write about. I made a new friend, school is killing me, I watched Mean Girls with Beau Benko. See, lot’s of things. But I just can’t get myself to do. I have the day off of school, so I think right now would be a good time to start up again. Here we go:

I’m taking some time off of PFW. I can’t be sitting on the forums all the time. Even if I’m not as active as before, I still spent a good amount of time on there. I’m not leaving really, just taking a break.

I made a new friend named Alyssa. She lives in New Mexico. And she’s lot’s of fun to talk to. :]

School sucks now more than ever. The end.

My new favorite game is Kill, Fuck, or Marry.

My love for Anberlin is growing everyday.

I miss writing blogs.

I just got out of the shower.

Annnd that’s about it. Oh, I want South to come back now. I really miss it. And there needs to be a HBP trailer soon or I’ll die. Ummm…. that’s it.