Archive for January, 2009
You are currently browsing the West of Somewhere blog archives for January, 2009.
17
Jan
2009
Hello…
So, one year ago today, Alyssa Hedrich sent me a message on MySpace. I’m very happy that she did. She also excepted my friend request. She did a lot of good things. Lyssa’s a smart cookie.
In the year that I have known her, we have talked a lot. Like, seriously, a lot. Which is another thing I am happy about. (A perfect example! I had to stop typing for a moment because she texted me.) I’m just a happy person. And I can thank her for a lot of that too.
It is no secret that I have a huge crush on this girl. (And if you didn’t know, I do.) Luckily for me, she hasn’t run away screaming. :]
This may be a bit redundant since I just wrote a blog down there *points down* all about how I’m going to see her and our history in general. But I have been talking to her for a year. A whole year. In a lot of ways it seems like longer to me. No, pretty much in every way. It’s strange.
Alyssa is very much a large part of my life. If you cut her out, I would have hours that I wouldn’t know what to do with, and no need for unlimited texting. She couldn’t be more involved in my life without living in my state. I wish she did, but that’s beside the point. She’s important. Hugely so.
And this girl that I met on MySpace because I thought she was cute, has now know me for a year. It doesn’t look like she plans on ditching me anytime soon. This is good news.
So Alyssa, happy one year. I love you. :]
16
Jan
2009
Don’t Bleed On My Bed
Otay so, I went over to Beau’s house today after school. It was lot’s of fun. I walked over with Jamesy. The plan was to go over to Beau’s house and hang out with him and Amanda. (Beau-tie stayed home today.) Unfortunately, James and Amanda missed each other by about a half an hour.
After Jamesy left, Beau and I hung out. Alyssa called when it was just the two of us and when I was talking to her, I was rubbing Beau-Beau (Beau’s tummy.) Which is as weird as it sounds. It started out with me talking about his happy trail, then it just led to me touching Beau. I did that for a while. When I realized how weird I was being it got a bit awkward, but Beau and I handled it well. It was really funny.
Amanda came, and so did the cuddling. I haven’t seen her in sooo long. I really enjoy that girl, you know? Seriously. Beau and Amanda and I cuddled a lot. Big tangle of limbs. It was great. Then we played I Never with Alyssa. Amanda went out first, then me, then Alyssa, and Beau was last. But he kind of cheated. So we’re saying Alyssa won.
After that I continued to talk to Alyssa about what she was going to wear whilst cuddling with Amanda. And in all of that another Amanda came over to hang out with us. Amanda M. Which I don’t call her when I talk to her. It got kind of confusing. :]
Amanda (Anderson) and I continued to cuddle. But we were half sleep cuddling. We weren’t talking and we weren’t moving. But we weren’t asleep. Beau didn’t like this and started throwing empty water bottles at us. Amanda kept saying “Don’t hurt them! You’re throwing them too hard! I can hear it.” Amanda and I didn’t do anything about it though. He must have thrown 25. I couldn’t take it. So I started throwing them back. Beau’s room was clean before this… not so much after.
We ended up playing the lamest game of Truth or Dare ever. It was more like Truth or Truth that turned into us just asking Beau questions that made him uncomfortable. Sorry Baby Beau.
There was just chill time after that.
I introduced Amanda M. to Uh Huh Her. And she likes them. Because she has a brain.
Then came home. :]
11
Jan
2009
The Art of Pretending
Ouch.
My shoulders tense and my stomach cramps. Fleeting flashes of ice race down my spine and I suddenly have the strong urge to pull my hair out by its roots. The stiffness in my neck is making it hard to move. To think. I am immobile. This is an altogether unpleasant feeling. The horrid sinking realization that this ache is the same as those of the past hits me as it doubles. The pain slowly dissipates, but the throb is slow to leave; a reminder that will haunt me for hours. Perhaps days. Even months. And yet, I’m searching for my next hit. I’m on an endless pursuit of endorphin spikes. I thrive on the building; the rising action. The sharpness of the pain only makes the pleasure that much sweeter.
4
Jan
2009
Activist?
I couldn’t help myself. There was a debate on gay marriage. I had to throw my two cents in. This is what they were:
This is not a direct response to the posts above me, but they are my thoughts on gay marriage. As a person living in California, I have to say that I was very disappointed when Prop 8 was passed. I find myself unable to voice how I feel correctly. I keep typing and deleting. My personal life and emotions are so closely connected to this issue… gay marriage (and Prop 8 ) is something I’ve had to deal with, for what seems like, a long time. The debate. Everything. And I can honestly say that it is getting to me. I don’t know what more I can say. I wish it had not passed, an understatement, but the truth. It may very well have a direct affect on me later in life. What if I want to marry a girl? I am bisexual. This makes it extremely hard for me. I see love as just… love. The lines blur with me. I could easily love a man or a woman in a romantic way. It just seems so unfair that I would only be able to marry the person I love if they are a man. It’s not just the rights I want (which trust me, I do.) It’s the word. “Marriage.” carries weight with pretty much everyone, myself included. I want to be able to say I’m married to who ever it is that I am in love with. Because let’s be honest saying “I’m married.” and “I’m civil union-ed.” doesn’t exactly have the same affect.